Monday, December 25, 2017
12 Horrors of Christmas: 'Silent Night, Deadly Night' (1984)
Christmas Evil from a few years earlier, which is a much more intense, well-acted and thoughtful movie about a traumatized guy who dresses up as Santa and kills people. Thanks to its trumped-up controversy and catchy title, Silent Night, Deadly Night turned into a franchise, but it's better at branding that at storytelling.
Sunday, December 24, 2017
12 Horrors of Christmas: 'Red Christmas' (2017)
Black Christmas, Red Christmas bathes many of its scenes in Dario Argento-style reds and greens as if from Christmas lights, but here the effect is mostly just to make the scenes harder to see.
Saturday, December 23, 2017
12 Horrors of Christmas: 'Better Watch Out' (2017)
Friday, December 22, 2017
12 Horrors of Christmas: 'Mercy Christmas' (2017)
Thursday, December 21, 2017
12 Horrors of Christmas: 'Saint' (2010)
Wednesday, December 20, 2017
12 Horrors of Christmas: 'The Children' (2008)
wrote about Home Alone as a stealth horror movie, maybe that's not so surprising, and The Children cleverly builds on the sense of unease in that family chaos as it takes its turn into full-on horror. As someone who can't stand children, I always appreciate when they are used as villains in horror movies, possibly because I view them all as tiny terrors anyway. Writer-director Tom Shankland effectively plays with the tension between self-preservation and the instinct to protect children, as the kids slowly turn homicidal and start attacking their parents.
Tuesday, December 19, 2017
12 Horrors of Christmas: 'Jack Frost' (1997)
Monday, December 18, 2017
12 Horrors of Christmas: 'Krampus' (2015)
Sunday, December 17, 2017
12 Horrors of Christmas: 'Silent Night, Bloody Night' (1972)
Saturday, December 16, 2017
12 Horrors of Christmas: 'A Christmas Horror Story' (2015)
Friday, December 15, 2017
12 Horrors of Christmas: 'Elves' (1989)
Thursday, December 14, 2017
12 Horrors of Christmas: 'Black Christmas' (2006)
posts on Christmas movies, including a handful of Christmas-related horror movies. When I wrote about the 1974 proto-slasher classic Black Christmas, I mentioned that I could probably fill an entire month with just holiday horror. That might stretch things a bit thin, but for this holiday season I figured I could cover the Christmas-appropriate number of 12 yuletide horror movies, starting, fittingly enough, with the 2006 remake of Black Christmas. Part of the ongoing trend of remakes of any horror property with a remotely recognizable name, the new version of Black Christmas keeps the same basic plot (a killer terrorizes the members of a sorority during the Christmas break) while adding in a lot more gore and extraneous back story.
Wednesday, December 13, 2017
Triskaidekaphilia: '13 Demons' (2016)
On the 13th of each month, I write about a movie whose title contains the number 13.
There are no actual demons in the cheapo straight-to-VOD "horror" movie 13 Demons, and even the faux-demons slain by the main characters never quite add up to 13. Shot almost entirely in two cramped rooms, 13 Demons has a grand fantasy premise that is far beyond the meager means of its filmmakers, who fail completely at conjuring up a fantastical realm outside the limited onscreen action. The title refers to a notorious board game discovered by a trio of unnamed gamer nerds (played by Stephen Grey, Michael Cunningham and writer-director Daniel Falicki), who bring it back to their dingy apartment to play. The nerd who finds the game tells the other two that 30 years ago it was banned because players went crazy and committed murders while claiming to be characters from the game. So once the main characters start playing, they ... go crazy and commit murders while claiming to be characters from the game.
Plus, the movie starts with a flash-forward to two of the three gamers being interrogated by the police, who begin by helpfully recounting how these two guys murdered a bunch of people, while the gamers spout a bunch of nonsense about being knights on a quest. So the movie tells you what it's going to be about, in two different contexts, and then proceeds exactly along those lines, without any deviations at all. We don't even get to see any of these brutal murders being committed, because the production is too limited. Instead we spend what feels like an eternity watching these three slovenly nerds roll dice and read overwrought Dungeons and Dragons-style prose from the game's manual, as they move pieces around a board that looks like it was made at a summer-camp arts and crafts activity.
Even at only 73 minutes, 13 Demons drags on interminably, and in the first half, the characters constantly comment on how dull and repetitive the game is, speaking in monotonous tones and frequently yawning. It's like one of those YouTube videos designed to help you relax and fall asleep, and it came close to working on me a few times. When we finally get to the demon-slaying, it's a crappy green-screened hallucination, as the characters imagine themselves dressed as knights and killing the exact same shadowy-looking demon each time, against a swirling CGI background that looks like an effects program's sample graphic. There's virtually no violence or blood, just the same rudimentary attack over and over. When the movie returns to the police interrogation, it devolves into the gamers and the cops yelling the equivalent of "Is not!" "Is too!" at each other, until the movie just ends abruptly without any resolution. Even the crappiest boards games know to come to some sort of conclusion.
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